Like how the day ends and stars decorate the sky, I was always told to never look back at what you’ve lost, but to learn from them. So, I tried not to look what I left behind. But as the saying goes, the more some things are forbidden, the more is the zeal to do it. So, I looked back. I looked back and I stared at those golden times. An escape into my daydreams and my childhood days. I was only thirteen when I began missing the time I spent as a kid. The pieces I put together were mostly a deep exploration into the half sketch portrait into my memoirs, knitted all together with the time I spent with nature. A half metre broad pathway in the middle of the dense forest made out of the daily walks into the natural garden by the villagers, the golden sunshine and the soft bed decorated with flowery fragance of dandelions and wild flowers I do not know about. I wanted to go back to that time.
Though it is in our hands to keep living in the past, we do not not own or have the power to stop the ticks of time. I aged. I grew up into this person I do not know about. Probably not the person I wanted to grow upto. This was a total different person, far from my dreams. The reality was a nightmare. So, in this age, I began looking in the times when I was thirteen, and it followed with more of living like a dead soul at the age 15.
I kept thinking that the golden day of all the possible day dreams and white sheet of lovely clouds is somewhere far from where I am leading to and I wanted to go back to how things were. In this process of learning to know who I was, I became indifferent and lost the one I was suppose to become. I became i different to changes and everything that life allowed me to see.
I was always longing for things that have passed and aren’t suppose to come back, such was my zeal to take back and go back to those carefree days of my past. Change is inevitable and we aged as we grow, but the fear of not having to see more of my days spent with the clouds and butterflies and winter sunshine, I created this town. My imagination was wide, I included a lot of sunny days and lavenders and clouds and colours. Thus Capled was born. I created with town where I was a child, far from all the miseries of real life. At 18, I was living like a child in my day dreams and dark times, I forgot that the parallel divisions of this world and the real world is far. Too far fetched and too different.
It took a little longer for me to wake up, but I did. And I found the golden time I always was lookin for.
“The Golden Time” is not the time spent in happy dreams, its the time where we struggle the most, the time I was always looking for was always right here, Today!
Today is a golden time. Its now, or never. The today can help you to mend and treat yourself, and this Today also has the power to re scratch the flowers into thorns. So, the only golden time that exists, is the present. With a little, lets create a lot.
Painting Courtesy: Namrata Dey
